You Know You're An American When...

you have a credit card(s)
you buy enough food to last for weeks at the store and then realize you cannot fit it into your bike bags
you eat everything with your hands
you ignore the knife
you feel an affinity for McDonald's even when you don't eat there (they are one of the few places with a wireless internet connection!)
you loath Dutch bureaucracy, following rules, standing in line, and getting little slips of paper with a number on it that says wait
you walk in the bike lane
you are surprised by the taste of fresh bread
you put lots of milk and sugar in your coffee or drink cafe lattes (spelled coffee verkeerd in Dutch which literally translates to "wrong coffee")
you say you all and you guys a lot (which the Dutch consider very informal)
you wear sweatpants and a t-shirt to class and baggy pants if you are a guy (Dutch casual is less casual than American casual)
you suddenly find yourself craving the brands Skippy, Heinz and Hershey
you find it strange that at some pools they have a specific time when Dutch people can swim nude…
you think all Dutch people are extremely tall
you do not find it odd to eat cereal or a sandwich for breakfast, lunch and dinner all in a day (if you are a student...)
you feel the need to give presents all the time and buy lots of things
you use the words "university" and "college" interchangeably
you took a test (the SATs) to get into college (in Holland the testing takes place in high school, and you are then placed into differing high schools. If you do well at whatever high school you went to, you get your pick of practically any university in the Netherlands, with some exceptions made for disciplines like medicine.)
your biggest expenses are university and healthcare
there is a big disparity between the rich and poor in your nation
there is a big difference between "good" and "not-so-good" universities in your country
You "hook-up" or speed-date with people (Most people have steady relationships and do not change partners like American university students)
you wear flipflops when it is too cold to do so
you are afraid of public speaking and are awed at the debating, public speaking and rhetorical prowess of all Dutch people
people think you are fat before they see you (some Dutch people believe this from watching lots of fat Americans on TV)
Dutch people think you live like stars on reality television (the most common images of “American culture,” stuff from shows like My Sweet Sixteen, a television show about millionaire’s kids having extravagant sixteenth birthday parties, and the show Teenage and Pregnant, about well, you guessed it, pregnant American teenagers… )
you realize that you have fewer books than most Dutch families
you have never heard of the wonders of “hagelslag”

You Know You are Dutch When (you write you are, instead of you're...)

you know the term "pin it," because you only have an ATM card and not a credit card
you bike in a skirt and dress or suit and tie
you go to the store everyday and only buy enough groceries for meals for that day
you have never tasted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or if you do, find it odd
you think it is normal to see uncensored naked bodies on television
you always use two forms of birth control
you might think of getting married when you are 30
healthcare and university costs come out of your taxes for the most part and the government gives you a student card for most transportation and pays for birth control
you have a pot of orchids in your house
you have at least three bicycles in your garage
you will have at least one master's degree by the time you are twenty-six
you speak at least three languages conversationally
you drink coffee or tea at least once a day
you cut up your pizza with a knife and fork
you have a birthday calendar hanging in your bathroom where you record all important birthdays
you live in a small house or apartment (by American standards)
you have no car or a small car (again, by American perceptions)
you have a communal playground near your house
you biked to school and will bike to university
you only call elementary school and high school "school" (Americans call university "school" as well)
you were tested in high school to see which high school you would go to. Your English competency is sometimes better if you go to the higher level school, but everyone speaks English conversationally, if not better than many Americans
most all universities are made equal in your country, though some universities are known for certain programs, all universities are strong
you work part time or stay at home if you are a woman (this is pretty common)
you are a pragmatic dater (you think about the long-term and whether the relationship would work out)
you dress conservatively in the gym, covering up way more than Americans
you dress more conservatively in clubs than Americans
you wear a lot of black, white and grey
you do not make physical contact with people when dancing (in America guys are all over girls they have never met)
you are freaked out by hugs (you find hugging far more intimate than kissing three times on the cheek)
if someone tries to hug you, you turn to the side to avoid frontal contact
you play at least three sports
you have visited California
you want to have an internship in New York
you smoke
you know what “hagelslag” is and put it on your toast in the morning