Dutch Culture 101: Brutally Honest

One thing the Dutch despise, and Americans embrace, is a little white lie— what the Dutch would call being two-faced. We don’t always mean to be this way. For example, instead of saying what we mean, we sugarcoat, or sidestep the point. If you look like you haven’t slept in days I might not say anything to be polite. The Dutch will look you in the eye and say, “You look like Hell.” The truth hurts. In a good way. The Dutch tell you exactly what they mean. At first, they can be blunt to the point of rude. But then it becomes refreshing. You do not have to worry about offending people here. They will actually be offended if you try not to offend because then it seems like you are concealing your true feelings (which you probably are.) Be honest.

Case in point: When I first arrived, I stayed with a Dutch rotary family for a few days. The wife said to me, “We were surprised. My husband and I thought you would be fat.” They watch a lot of television where American shows often air like The Biggest Loser and My Sweet Sixteen and Teenage and Pregnant. As a result, they think all Americans are pregnant, rich and fat. There is something to be said for this, after all, you hardly ever see a fat person in Holland (how can you be fat when you have to bike everywhere…) and, America’s teen pregnancy rates are far higher than those in Western Europe. And, Americans are generally more ostentatious about our wealth—bigger houses, larger cars. But, I digress. The point is that my host mom was honest. She said what she had been thinking. Her honesty allowed me to see a window into how the Dutch perceive Americans. And, facilitated this post.